This post is part of my Cancer & Healing journal, an archive of the updates I wrote while going through treatment for Stage III rectal cancer. These entries reflect what I knew and felt at the time.

Today I’m officially halfway through chemoradiation, or CRT.

Things are going pretty well, all things considered.

I’m tired. I have some nausea. And my appetite is basically on vacation. But I’m pushing through.

I’ve been told the second half is usually the toughest because the effects of both the chemotherapy and radiation are cumulative. So right now, I’m taking it one day at a time and looking forward to finishing this part of treatment and getting a little break before I start chemotherapy.

Steve has been my rock through all of it. I’m incredibly thankful for him, and for everyone who has been sending love, prayers and encouragement.

It really does mean the world. ❤️

Looking Back

At the halfway point, I was still doing remarkably well.

I was tired and nauseated, and food wasn’t particularly interesting anymore, but I was functioning. More importantly, I could see the finish line for this part of treatment.

What I didn’t fully understand yet was just how cumulative chemoradiation really is.

The first half can lull you into thinking, Okay, I can do this.

And you can.

But radiation doesn’t reset overnight. Each treatment is added to what your body has already absorbed, and the effects continue building. For me, the second half would become a very different experience from the first.

At this point, though, I wasn’t there yet.

I was halfway.

And sometimes halfway is enough to celebrate.

A note for someone going through this now

If you’ve found this because you’re somewhere in the middle of chemoradiation for rectal cancer, remember that this was my experience, not a prediction of yours. People respond to treatment differently.

One thing I learned very quickly was to stop trying to experience the entire treatment plan at once.

Some days, the job really is just to get through today.

And then you do it again tomorrow.